Arthur Dimmesdale's all consuming guilt over his role in Hester's plight
affected every facet of his life and his relationship with his congregation as a
clergyman. As we take a trip into Dimmesdale's inner passions, fears and
anxiety, we will discover the honesty of revealing secrets that have been locked
away. In order to depict his emotions from the character's own point of view,
the remainder of this essay will be reflected from Dimmesdale's own perspective
as I believe the events to have transpired. Standing on the scaffold with her
arms encircling the child of our intimacy, her hair falling with such
perfection, my heart throbs to be with her. I bear the agonizing threat of my
shame, which inflicts me to sit on this balcony with men of authority,
imperiously telling me to question the victim of sin whom I so adore. I speak
words that would convince any other woman to profess the name of her fellow
sinister, knowing that this concealed secret would maintain in only the two
people that it is cherished. As for myself, I have been saved from physical
awareness from others mockery and continue to claim my lawful place as a
minister for the church. Leading the deceptions I have chosen to protect myself.
As years of my life pass by me, I find there is no condolence in life, I see
others mock my place as a man of God, though it is fantasized, my distress is
far too harsh. The deterioration of my health was developed by my frequent
concern for Hester and my daughter Pearl. My physician, Roger Chillingworth has
taken a room in my home to administer medications to my failing body. Without
the knowledge of how evil Dr. Chillingworth truly was, I subjected myself to
pure torment of his harrowing bonds. The distorted creature was always leering
my every move, as a hawk hunting its prey on the night of a barren winter's eve.
With a hope of getting away from the townspeople and especially the "Black
Man," Roger Chillingworth, I went forth into the woods and to an Indian
tribe to preach. As I walked along the pathway in the concentration of trees'
back into town, I contemplated my thoughts and also my fantasies of freedom from
the guilt I have felt for so long. As I walked along the trail I thought I had
heard someone call my name, yet I decided it was just imagined and though I saw
Hester Prynne standing so near, I believed her to be only a daydream. She called
my name once more and I came to her, knowing she was genuine. We sat and
discussed small talk at first, feeling nervous and uncomfortable, then gradually
our conversation took a turn and I told her of my guilt and inner war. She tried
to ease my sorrow and had almost succeeded with making plans to leave Boston and
go back to the Old World to make happiness. It had never crossed my mind that
there may be a solution to my complexities of life, but Hester made it loom that
we could be together and live happily. Then I found myself discouraged when
Pearl would not come hither and meet me, I had doubted my relationship with my
neglected daughter would flourish. This disappointed Hester immensely and she
was incensed with Pearl, especially when she found her child had fretted about
knowing her own mother by the scarlet letter she wore on her breast. When the
daunted girl had finally come to Hester and was introduced to me, I kissed her
on the cheek and her being disgusted by my affection washed it from her in the
stream. I was deeply lamented by this act and held it in the pit of my stomach
as I talked with Hester until my departure. As I returned into town, I acquired
an over coming feeling of evil which enraptures my thoughts and formed words
into corruption. I hurriedly made my way home avoiding the people walking to
talk with me. When I was in the safety of my home, I attempted to calm myself
into spirituality. Until I was interrupted by the presence of Chillingworth I
was some what relieved. He aspired to give my medications sparking my flaming
bitterness and refusal to his power, I released my emotions and pushed his evil
feint away. I then took out my Election Day sermon and rid myself of it. I
conceived words onto a crisp paper, focusing on the sermon that would sincerely
be written from my desolate heart. On the Election Day I paraded down the main
street of town with the other evangelists I know so well. Keeping focus so that
I could not be distracted and perceive the speech I would be giving to the
townspeople. Before reaching the stairs of the scaffold I saw Hester and Pearl
and knew that I must confess my sin that Hester had been punished for so long
ago. I took each of them by the hand and led them onto the platform and allowed
myself to jolt the crowd with the astonishing essence that had so long awaited
justice. With the sin out of my hands, my frail condition collapsed and I fell
upon the planks of wood, beneath me I felt Hester's alarmed arms. Hearing her
shaken voice question if our afterlife would be spent together, I answered I was
not sure of it but, would not be hasty to believe it to be. Then I felt the warm
kiss of my only child, Pearl, had come to acknowledge that I did desire to be
her father and now it would be wasted. Now at peace my soul was released into
the appendages of an angel sent from God.